Bi the way...

Being a bisexual male can be an interesting experience at times, certainly there are days when I feel a lot more 'bi' than usual. Why this should be the case, I'm not sure, but nonetheless it does give me the opportunity (excuse) to blog about bisexuality and the joys it brings.

For one thing, I've often seen being Bi as a conciousness expanding experience. By that I mean it allows me to experience and understand the world in a way other people are not able. Many people have the wrong idea about sexuality - they see it as a case of black or white, gay or straight, one or the other; with each category being mutually exclusive. Bisexuality has helped me to understand that there is so much more to it than that. Sexuality to me is a broad spectrum, with 'gay' and 'straight' as end members. For comparative purposes we can make 'gay'=100 and 'straight'=0. The point I am getting at is that no individual is entirely one or the other. While I agree a lot of people are 'straight', as they would understand it, by no means does that signify them being at zero on our spectrum. Here lies the falacy with our old fashioned 'black vs white' system of classification - it just doesn't work.

I'd hazard a guess that those who call themselves 'straight' may lie anywhere between, say 0 and 5 on the scale. This would mean that they aren't absolute heterosexuals, but that this side of their sexuality is so dominant that they can happily live their entire lives without noticeing the other sides. The opposite would be true of homosexuals. Bisexuality to me, would be the area between 25 and 75, with the 'not quite homo/hetero' areas labelled bicurious.

All this is of course a personal theory of mine. In fact, it is not even a theory since there is not a scrap of evidence to back it up. I'm going on personal experience alone here; that and the experiences of close friends. If anything, this system at least allows me to work out where I lie on the system - usually around 30-40 - though in the past I've probably crossed the 50 mark back and forth a number of times.

And what use is all this? Well, it at least allows me to dismiss the most hurtful criticisms of bisexuality - the 'choice' argument. I am utterly sick of reiterating and attacking it, but it basically runs along the lines that there is no such thing as bisexuality and that those who self-define as bisexual are really just 'greedy' or 'can't make up their mind'. Firstly, sexuality is never a matter of choice - anyone who can put logic and reason before personal bigotry can see that. Secondly, why should bisexuals have to choose - ignoring part of their nature and part of who they are - just to fit within other people's narrow categories.

I don't believe that there is anything wrong with bisexuality, anymore than there is anything wrong with being fond of both tea and coffee. If anything, I personally feel that bisexuality is the future. Admittedly it wouldn't be for the people at the ends of my spectrum, but that is no big deal. For everyone else, a little bit of open mindedness and experimentation wouldn't hurt would it? It would be fair to say that it is perhaps a little progressive for me to suggest we all start 'shagging anyone' (to quote a friend), but you wouldn't rule out a perfectly good potential partner on the basis of their race or hair colour would you? Is it really any more logical to rule them out for being the 'wrong' gender?

And finally, to quote John Barrowman (as Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood)

"You humans with your quaint little categories"

Barrowman is, of course, homosexual. But he does play a bisexual (or even pansexual) character, and has I admit been something of an influence for me.

That's all for now, but I'm likely to have more thoughts on the subject soon enough (when I have a 'bi day' as I am known to do). Incidently, the title for this post comes from the name of another blog I've recently started reading. Can't remember how I found it, but I'm fond nonetheless.

'Ciderite'